Janos' Lament
by Thraxenel
Summary: What do you suppose Janos does all that time alone in his retreat while waiting for Raziel to arrive? This songfic says it all. Pls R&R!


JANOS' LAMENT by Thraxenel  
  
What do you suppose Janos does all that while in his retreat alone waiting for Raziel to arrive? Can you imagine all those years of waiting and how lonely he must feel? Well, this songfic is dedicated to our beloved blue Ancient. Pls R&R! ...........................................................................................................  
  
'Janos's Lament' was inspired by EtherealShadow, who wrote 'My Immortal', a beautiful songfic that can be found in the 'Jak and Daxter' section. It's heartseeping and soulful, and it's recommended read for anyone who knows about Jak 2. SHE DESERVES CREDIT FOR THIS!!  
  
Oh yeah, the song in this fic is based on Evanescene's 'My Immortal'. I've changed the lyrics to suit Janos' situation, but the music sounds the same I guess. Hey, let's face it, when you suck at comedy (Check 'Kain and the Nightmare from Nextdoor' by me to see my point), you improvise.  
  
Please review! Oh yeah, if any of you share an obsession for Legacy of Kain, I'd like to know you because I'm really low on its resources and I'm dying to write an action-fic about it. I've got some big questions I wanna ask, too. E-mail me at Padfoot_DarkWolf0810@hotmail.com if you do!  
  
Okay, enough of my ceaseless chatter. VAE VICTUS! .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .......  
  
The wind was cold as the evening began to settle down upon Nosgoth, illuminating the world with its soft, amber glow. It delicate rays touched the newly fallen snow of the wintry landscape, blessing it with a glowing, orange radiance. All is well in the peaceful canyons of Nosgoth's northern mountains. But this serene air of tranquility is not all it seems........  
  
Janos Audron slowly fixed his golden eyes on the cold, frozen lay that lay below his large open balcony. He sighed as the breeze blew against his cold cheek and whisper in the feathers of his large, angelic wings. Winter was a time of santuary to him, for during these frigid months there was lesser pain and the blessing cold peacefulness of it all eased his dormant agony inside him. He thanked God graciously for this bliss.  
  
But then, not even the safest months could provide Janos perfect peace. In their relentless quest to intimidate the mighty Ancient vampire, Sarafans continue their kills almost everyday, and with each hunt they display their gruesome trophies at his very threshold. Janos's eyes strayed towards the frozen corpses of impaled vampires down at the ground before him, and his heart shrank with pity and remorse. Even from the great height of his retreat, he could see their last expressions very well. Their palid, frozen faces were stoned by the icy touch of winter and death, and though they had been long dead, the air of their torment is hung alive around them.  
  
Janos sighed again and looked away. At times he felt tempted to go down to the impaled vampires and help the resilient few whom still lived and breathed even with those cruel stakes through their dying hearts. But to do so would mean his peril. The Sarafans were constantly hounding him, and will take any chance to strike him dead.  
  
Ironic it was, however, of the fact that fate decided to keep him alive after all these grief-filled years. Bound by his immortality and eternal devotion to his gaurdianship of Soul Reaver, he knew he couldn't escape the bonds that kept him trapped in his retreat alone. He sometimes envied the other Pillar Guardians, hating the fact that they were spared from all the hardships he was forced to endure. He had witnessed the fall of his kindred and the rise of mankind's cruelty. And after all these years of pure torment, after so much grief.......he was to remain alive.  
  
But why, why would one who had suffered and endured so much choose to remain alive? Who wouldn't refuse the mercy of suicidal oblivion over this unbearable torture? As Janos passed one century to another, one thing (besides his wretched immortality) sustained him through all his torment: his unfaltering belief and faith in the ancient prophecies.  
  
It was stated in the prophesies that a hero would arrive and ensure the salvation of the vampire race. And that legendary hero was to bear the Soul Reaver, the precious and mighty artifact that Janos guarded with his very soul. Only when this hero arrives will Janos' destiny be fulfilled, and his torment sate. Until then, Janos must bear the obstacles that lay before it.  
  
And this was the crux of his ironic delimma. His faith was his life-source and his burden, and he was helplessly bound to it. And so he softly sang, a quiet and sorrowful lament, of the pain of life, and the irony of his destiny..........  
  
I'm so tired of being here,  
  
Supressed by all my childish fears,  
  
And If I were to live,  
  
I wish it'd cease to persist,  
  
Because this irony still lingers here,  
  
And it won't leave me alone.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal,  
  
This pain is just too real,  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase............  
  
When I cry there's,  
  
No one to wipe away all of my tears,  
  
When I pray there's,  
  
No one there for them to hear,  
  
I've held on this long for all of these years,  
  
But it still has....all of me.  
  
Faith used to captivate me by its resonating light,  
  
But now I'm bound by this burden I've kept alive.........  
  
This hope, it traps my once unchained soul,  
  
This undyingness, it swept away all the sanity in me.......  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal,  
  
This pain is just too real,  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase...........  
  
When I cry, there's  
  
Noone to wipe away all of my tears,  
  
When I pray, there's  
  
Noone there for them to hear,  
  
I've held on this long for all of these years,  
  
And it still has....all of me............  
  
I've tried to hard to tell myself to let go..........  
  
And that all of this waiting,  
  
Has no meaning all along............  
  
When I cry, there's  
  
Noone to wipe away all of my tears,  
  
When I pray, there's  
  
Noone there for them to hear,  
  
I've held on this long for all of these years,  
  
And it still has....all of me............  
  
And thus the lament ended as his voice slowly faltered, departing from his lips to drift in the cold, dancing winter breeze. As the light of twilight descended, and the amber stained heavens turned into a deep, dark violet, Janos half-heartedly turned back and retreated back into his chamber to resume the role fate has so cruelly laid before him.  
  
.............................................................................................................  
  
Ohh...poor Janos. And to actually believe that when Raziel did arrive, he ended up getting his heart ripped out by them damn Sarafans. What do you think? Review please!!!! 


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